Trust Your Instincts
by pandorabox82
Summary: When Alex gets news that the Replicator has injured one of their own, she is no longer able to hide her feelings for that person. But will she be able to handle the wrath that David Rossi unleashes on her? *Re-do of the season finale*


When the phone rang, she knew. She just knew that the Replicator had done his worst, had hurt one of the team. Alex just wondered who he had gotten to. Whipping out her phone, she pressed the speaker button. "Blake here."

"Alex…" JJ's voice was full of tears and she pulled over, wondering what had upset the woman so. "He got to Erin. He forced her to drink."

"What?" she exclaimed, her hand tightening on her phone, the blood draining from her face. "Is, is she going to be okay?"

"We don't know. The paramedics loaded her into an ambulance and drove her away. Dave rode with her, I've never seen him look so scared. And now, we're down two agents and we still haven't caught this maniac."

"Why would he go after Erin?" she mused softly. "She's been circumspect since…" Alex thought back to the day she'd been summarily let go from the FBI, her judgments called into question. "John…"

"I'm sorry?" JJ said, confusion infused in those two words.

"John Curtis. He is the Replicator."

"And you know that how?"

She exhaled forcefully, staring out the window. "Because when the fallout of the Amerithrax case happened, I wasn't the only one that Erin fired that day. John Curtis was also forced to fall on his sword. And he's the only one smart enough to pull something like this off. Are you certain that Erin and Dave are okay?"

"It's an ambulance. What could happen?"

Alex shook her head and turned on the lights and siren. "Which hospital were they headed to?"

"I don't remember, hang on." She listened to JJ ask Reid where the pair were heading, but couldn't make out his reply. "They're heading over to St. Vincent's. I'm going to have Garcia patch in to the radio on the bus and stay with them until they reach the hospital."

"Very good, JJ." She ended the call and began to drive once more, thankful that she knew where St. Vincent's was in relation to her current position. She pressed the gas pedal as hard to the floor as she could, urging the vehicle to go ever faster in her race to get to Erin and the hospital.

She had almost reached the hospital when her phone rang once more. Not looking at the display, she hit the speaker button and bit out, "Blake."

"Alex, they made it to the hospital, and Erin's in the emergency room right now. They're trying to get her body temperature under control and to pump the drugs from her system. The local branch of the FBI has sent four agents to St. Vincent's, to watch over and guard her. Tell me that she's going to be okay!"

"I wish that I could, Garcia. You just work on finding Curtis. Make sure the others hunt him down. I'm going to watch over her, too."

She heard the woman's sharp breath and knew that she had just revealed too much about herself. "I thought you hated her?"

"We made up tonight."

"And do you love her?"

It was just like her to cut to the heart of the matter. "I do. I did. I don't know."

"Well, when you get to the hospital, you'll have to face Rossi. He is going to be sick with worry and fear. And you declaring an undying love for the love of his life is not going to go over well. Tread carefully."

There was a deep wisdom in her words, and Blake nodded, even though she knew Garcia couldn't see her. "I will, thanks for the warning, Garcia." She ended the call and sighed deeply, finally closing the distance between her and the hospital. Shoving her phone in her pocket, she jumped from her car and fairly ran into the hospital.

It didn't take Alex long to whip out her credentials, showing them to the woman manning the desk. "I know that Erin Strauss was brought here just a short time ago. I need to be taken to her room."

The woman nodded and motioned for one of the nurses to come over. "Nancy, Agent Blake needs to be shown to where the eagle is nesting." Alex furrowed her brow. "The other agents suggested that, ma'am. I'm led to believe that the person who tried to kill her is still on the loose."

She nodded, sudden understanding filling her mind. "I get it, now." The nurse indicated with her hand that Alex should follow her, and they took off at a brisk pace. Alex couldn't help but notice that there were a number of security guards milling the hallway she was being led down, and that eased her heart a little.

"She's in there, ma'am," the nurse said softly. "Let me prepare you a little bit. This is our most secure room, with no windows to the outside, so it will be darker in there than normal. She is on a ventilator, and the doctors have decided to use the hemodialysis machine on her in order to remove the toxins from her blood. She is also unconscious, and the doctors are hoping that she remains that way for a while."

Alex nodded, a heavy pit of dread filling her stomach. "She's going to be all right, right?"

"It's too early to tell, ma'am. If you pray, I would. It can't hurt." She sighed and pulled out her credentials once more, knowing she would have to show them to the agent at the door. "I hope you find the person who did this to her."

"I hope so, too." Alex closed the distance between herself and the agent, a tight smile on her face. "I need to see Erin."

"Who are you?"

"Alex Blake. I'm part of the Alpha team of the BAU." She handed over her credentials to the man and endured his scrutiny. Some small part of her brain knew that he was being thorough, that he was doing his job to protect Erin, but she wanted nothing more than to be in that room, holding Erin's hand, proving to herself that she was still alive, that John hadn't stolen her away.

"All right, everything looks in order. Let me ask Agent Rossi if he knows you." She nodded sharply, feeling the frustration build up in her chest, and she knew that she was so close to exploding in a fit of anger. And that wouldn't do at all, not in this situation. Turning, she tried to take a few deep breaths, to calm the fierce beating of her heart.

"Alex! Is everything okay?"

She whirled around to face Dave, feeling her defenses crumble. Shaking her head, she let the first of her tears begin to slip down her face. "We know who the Replicator is."

"What! Who?" he asked, settling his arm around her waist and leading her into Erin's room. She couldn't bear to look at the woman lying there so still, so quiet. "Alex, tell me what you know!"

She shuddered, burying her face in his shoulder, letting herself cry harder. Slowly, she registered the feel of his hand rubbing circles on her back, trying to calm her down, and she breathed in deeply through her nose, pulling away from him and looking into his eyes. "It's John Curtis. I guess he also couldn't let go of a grudge."

His eyes widened a little as he recognized the name of their nemesis. "My god, no wonder he targeted Erin. Why did you come here, though? Why aren't you out there, trying to stop him? After all, you might just know him the best."

Alex shook her head slowly. "I couldn't be out there. Not after…"

Dave frowned a little, stepping back from her. "So, you left the rest of our team out there to find him so you could do what exactly?" She could hear the fury creeping into his voice and she shrank back. She had heard about his temper, had seen it in action a few times when he confronted a particularly heinous unsub, but his ire had never been directed at her or any member of the team. "Goddammit, Alex, why the fuck did you abandon your team at a time like this?"

She began to shake, scooting over towards the wall, needing something to brace herself against. Alex crossed her arms in front of her, trying to make herself as small and unnoticeable as possible. "I, I had to see her."

"Why? So that you could laugh at what happened to her? That bastard forced her to drink. Are you going to gloat that she finally fell off the wagon? That over a year's worth of hard work has been shattered by one stupid, arrogant, loathsome, foul, evil, son of a bitch? Because you can walk out through that door right now and never come back if that's the case. We don't need someone like you with us."

The venom in his words caused her to begin to cry once more, silent tears rolling down her face. "You don't understand anything," she whispered, finally working up the courage to look at Erin. She looked so small, so fragile there, drowning in the cords and meters and monitors that told Alex she was still alive, still fighting. "You never did."

Hesitantly, she walked over to Erin's side and picked up her hand, careful not to squeeze too hard, trying desperately not to give herself away. "And you can get the fuck away from my girlfriend. I understand lust well enough."

A small spark of anger lit underneath her grief and she snapped her head up, glaring at him. "It's not lust that I feel, David."

"Oh, no? Could have fooled me, what with the way you're behaving. Did you suddenly realize that those feelings of animosity were just covering up the fact that you are a sexually frustrated, repressed, bitch who wanted to make a move on the one woman who has been doing her damnedest to make amends with you since you returned?" Disgust and hate filled his eyes and she shook her head. "Oh, then is this the declaration of undying love?"

"Fuck you, Rossi."

"No, Alex, fuck you." As he spat those words at her, Erin's fingers tightened around her hand, and she fought not to let on that the woman had made a move, that she had was coming back around. "Get out."

"No," she hissed. "You go and find him. You can bring him down, if that's your intent. There are some secrets that you never learned the truth of. I am not leaving her side until she wakes up."

Alex heard him stomp over to her side and braced herself. Moments later, he yanked her away from Erin's side, pushing her back against the wall and staring furiously into her eyes. "And what secrets might those be, Alex?"

His voice was low now, measured, controlled, and this scared her more than his earlier anger. She tried to look brave, to wear a façade of macho-ness, but even the rap lyrics that usually calmed her down were fleeing the onslaught of his continued grip and gaze. "Wouldn't you like to know, Rossi. I'm sure it's every man's fantasy."

Her words were a bluff, a buffer, but they only seemed to incite him more. His fingers bit into her upper arms and she suppressed the gasp that threatened to escape her lips. "You are one sick bitch, Blake. When this is over, I want your resignation letter on Hotch's desk."

"I will only resign if Erin asks me to." Her eyes slid to her too still figure, and she felt her heart crack once more. "You just don't get how easily love can twist into hate and then twist back again. I love her. God help me, I don't think I ever stopped."

She was completely broken now, unable to fend off his anger or the crash of her feelings on her psyche. Her legs gave out from underneath her and she sank to the ground, giving in to harsh sobs once more. "Get up." Rossi's voice was cold, detached, and it hurt her to the core of her heart.

"I can't. You go, you hunt him down. I'm no good out there in the field. I'll fuck something up, and get someone else hurt. It's all I seem to be good at these days." Once she had started telling the truth, she couldn't get herself to stop. It tumbled from her lips, only to fall on deaf ears.

"I'm not leaving you alone with her."

She looked up at him, her eyes still brimming with tears. "Please?"

A low groan came from the bed and her head snapped over to look at Erin. And yet, Dave was the first at her side, picking up her hand, stroking her hair lovingly. It was in that moment she realized how badly she had blundered. "Get out."

"For now," she whispered, clambering to her feet. Unable to stop herself, she drifted over to Erin's side and brought her hand to her lips, kissing the palm tenderly. It was their gesture, the one that Erin had shyly suggested when they had started their affair. "I won't force her to choose me. But I will ask her to choose."

"And I know what her answer will be." The cold surety of his words cut her to the marrow and she shuddered, setting Erin's hand back down before stroking her cheek lightly.

"Don't count your chickens before they've hatched," she muttered as she stalked from the room, swiping at her cheeks roughly. "Under no certain circumstances are you to allow any other man who might show you credentials in to see Erin. The man that nearly killed her is a high ranking federal official, and he will stop at nothing to try and get to her. I know this goes without saying, but, guard her with your life."

The man nodded and she moved off, trying to get control of her emotions. Whipping out her phone, she dialed Garcia as she stomped off. "How did things go, gumdrop?" she asked, sounding apprehensive.

"Not good. Where are the others?" she bit out.

"Back here with me, trying to track down Curtis. Now that we know who he is, I feel that we can get a step ahead of him."

"That's good. I'll be there in twenty." Slipping her phone back into her pocket, she made her way out to her car, looking around every corner, hyper-aware of every slight noise. After locking herself in the SUV, she drove back to the command center and tried very hard to think of anything but Erin. It was hard, though, and her felt her heart break once more as she pictured her lying in that bed so still.

Shaking her head, she sighed. She should have been more careful, like Penelope had cautioned. She should never have given Rossi the ammunition with which to destroy her life. And yet, she would not change it for anything in the world. Everything was out in the open now, and maybe, just maybe, she could move on from the past. She should have just trusted her instincts from the beginning.


End file.
